Graphophobia
Every morning when I sit down to write, I’m afraid. After almost a million words written and over a million books sold, I still am terrified that I can’t write, tell a good story, and have nothing worthwhile to say. My higher brain functions shutdown and I stare at the blank screen like an ape dumbfound by the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I have a bunch of tricks to get myself started (I’ll cover those in a later posts, don’t worry). Once I get started, though, the words come--sometimes so fast I go into a Zen no-mind lightening-hot state and tap and tap and tap until I realized that I’m in that mental state (which always then breaks the spell) and I look up and see a thousand words on the screen.
I’m sharing this because I wanted those who are trying to write and have this problem to know it’s okay. Lots of other writers do, too; you’re in good company.
You can get past this. I do everyday. Don’t give up.
I have a bunch of tricks to get myself started (I’ll cover those in a later posts, don’t worry). Once I get started, though, the words come--sometimes so fast I go into a Zen no-mind lightening-hot state and tap and tap and tap until I realized that I’m in that mental state (which always then breaks the spell) and I look up and see a thousand words on the screen.
I’m sharing this because I wanted those who are trying to write and have this problem to know it’s okay. Lots of other writers do, too; you’re in good company.
You can get past this. I do everyday. Don’t give up.
posted by Eric Nylund at 5:26 AM
8 Comments:
It's good to know. I face it every time I write, as well. Self-doubt is the biggest disabler to writers, I think.
One thing I'm always lacking, whether it be for a screenplay or a novel, is inspiration... Do you think you could cover what gets you going for inspiration? Obviously, there's books, but then you have the problem of writing 200,000 words and realizing you've essentially re-phrased someone else's story.
Any thoughts?
Can't wait to hear your other tips. I know I always have a hard time trying to write something even thought I might have an idea firmly planted in my brain. Thanks for the blog as well, I love reading your posts.
I think fear of inability often lends to good writing. Usually, those that think they have no faults are some of the worst destroyers of prose around. They're the ones you want to scream "Do not affect a breezy manner!" at. Granted, confidence does help, but I think what gives a better light is hope. It's good to see an established author trying to give that hope to new possible contenders as well. It makes me feel better about plunking down the seven bucks per book.
While I realize that you have established the fact that you shared this with us for the sake of those who suffer from similar feelings, I feel that I must remark that I have not heard so unfounded a fear in a LONG time! You are such a great storyteller! Those elements of your mind that seek to work against you possess only doubt and mistruth with which to assail your higher brain functions - the truth does not lay in their arsenal, nor shall it ever! Doubt is merely suspicion, it is not something proven. And believe me, those elements of your mind that seek to work against you would most definitely use any faults that have been proven to you to exist in yourself, so the fact that they do not, when they are using only doubts and fears, is testament to the truth of your prowess as a writer!
Whenever you feel these feelings, as you make your way along the path to achieving what you desire, remember that your own imperfection is not an insurmountable obstacle; rather, it is like a heavy weight that lies on only one side of your body, one that every author everywhere has had to bear.
Or, to quote another author, "Fear is the mind-killer. I will not fear."
~Angel
Thanks for the replies everyone.
Nikoda quoting Strunk and White—how cool is that? (Remind me to post one day about the “three things you need to make it as a writer” to address your thoughts about “no fault,” talented writers.)
Angel, thanks—don’t fret over my anxiety, though. It’s a necessary component to the writing process: Yin and Yang, creative and analytic, first-draft writing and editing. It’s only when those circuits get crossed, and I’m supposed to be creative instead of questioning that I get in trouble!
Coweh—I started a reply to your question about inspiration, but it got long. I’ll post it as my next blog entry so every one can read it.
--Eric
I don't know about fear...that's pretty strong, i'd say. But i know that whenever i think i have something really good on my hands, it ends up being terrible, and the same for the opposite. Hell, some stuff i thought should be burned, locked up, beaten...and all those other fun adjectives were some of the best stuff i'd written.
Of course, i also do tend to stare at my keyboard with a blank face for about ten minutes before I write anything. The feeling of my heart sinking to my feet because i know what i want to say, but not how i want to say it. Around that time my feet get tired of the extra company and decide that its time for my fingers to bear the burden, and suddenly i'm writing. Hell, just tonight i was writing something and I can't remember how i started what I did. I remember being there and doing it, but how I'd actually written it?
Wasn't me, i'll tell you that. But heck, my computer can't take credit.
Wow. That's the most comforting thing I've heard in a while.
Everyone always says it's fine to have writers' block, and the like, but it means a lot more coming from a professional.
Can't wait to hear how you get yourself to write!
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